


Five Hundred and Nine Words of Deadpool

by LlamaLlamaNewt



Series: Superheroes like Coffee Too [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Bonus Fic, Chimichangas, Crack Fic, Deadpool Made Me Do It, Deadpool is an asshole, Deadpool shenanigans, Disney References, Gen, Kate's muffins, Nadine'sCoffee Shop, Swear Words, arguement with a character, deadpool has a potty mouth, how are they not a character tag, so do i apparently, they should be, yellow boxes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2566769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaLlamaNewt/pseuds/LlamaLlamaNewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool shows up one day in Nadine's Cafe. This is the disaster that ensues. </p><p>Deadpool made me do it. Don't listen to what he says. He's an asshole folks, he really is. This is all his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Hundred and Nine Words of Deadpool

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Nadine's Coffee](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2557538) by [LlamaLlamaNewt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaLlamaNewt/pseuds/LlamaLlamaNewt). 



> Written after chapter one of Nadine's coffee, though it doesn't necessarily fit in there, and probably takes place at an undisclosed time probably near the beginning of Nadine's Coffee.  
> This is not a necessary for that universe, but you may want to read at least chapter one of Nadine's Coffee first to understand the setting and context of this story.

BONUS

Five Hundred and Nine Words of Deadpool

One day when Sam walked into Nadine's, the last person he wanted to see was sitting in the corner, mask rolled up to his nose drinking a coffee and eating a Spiderman muffin seemingly talking to himself. As Sam, he wasn't supposed to know who Deadpool was, but Falcon did, and Falcon thought the mouthy mercenary was the biggest asshole he'd ever had the misfortune of meeting. Sam also thought he was nuts, and he certainly wasn't the only one who thought that.

"These aren't nearly as good as chimichangas," Deadpool said, seemingly to himself. "Why couldn't she have owned a mexican joint?

 _Wade, you're an asshole, shut up and enjoy your Spiderman muffin_ ,  _and stop trying to tell them my plot._

"You're writing a coffeeshop AU and you're worried about them figuring out the plot? Lady, they know."

_Shut up and eat the muffin._

"Alright, alright, sheesh, chillax crazy lady. I mean, this is one decently tasty Spider...  I wonder if Baby Boy tastes bett-"

_OKAY, WOAH, SERIOUSLY WILSON._

"Oh my God woman, can I go back to the comics? At least the boxes were amusing; You're just an uptight asshole."

_I am not. I love me some Spideypool action any day but you're in a public place, Pete isn't here, and you're freaking out Sam. You're also throwing off my groove._

"What are you gonna do about it scary lady? Throw me out of a window? It won't do much. I'll live and then just bitch about it to annoy you."

_i wonder how concentrated I can make an explosion to completely incinerate you. See if you can regenerate from that._

"You'd need a reeaaaally powerful nuclear bomb, and are you  **really**  willing to kill that many people just to kill me?"

_Wade, this is Marvel. I could always cry myself to sleep, get up, and write another alternate universe._

"I wouldn't be dead in that one."

 

..... [pause].....

 

"Didn't think about that, did ya?"

_Fucking immortal self-aware asshole!_

Wade cackled to himself as he took a bit of his muffin. "Okay, this is no chimichanga, but it is good. Hawkkid's got skills. I should take Baby Boy one of these... think he'd let me touch his butt if I did?"

_You're infuriating._

"And yet, I'm still your favourite. Now, shut up and let me enjoy my spidermuffin."

_I hope you choke._

Sam just looked at Katie, who shrugged and passed Sam his coffee. "I have no idea. I don't ask questions, he just showed up and told me the author was demanding he eat a muffin when he'd rather eat tacos. At least he seemed to be happy when he saw I had Spiderman.... but I don't question the people giving me money."

"Okay then," Sam said confused. "Well, uh... okay, thanks Katie."

"No problem Sam, enjoy!" Katie said with a grin.  

Sam just nodded and sat at the front rather than in his usual place - which was right beside where Deadpool was currently chugging back his coffee and licking icing off of his gloved fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 7 AM when I couldn't get back to sleep, and when I was slightly high on pain killers 3 days after getting my wisdom teeth taken out. I had just re-read some of my Deadpool comics (Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe and Deadpool Kills Deadpool) and he demanded to be written into this story. I haven't decided if he'll turn up at some other point later He might, he might not, either way, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I had way too much fun with this, and I'm so proud with how this turned out.


End file.
